you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
