I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
