I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize