I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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