I'm drive I can fine osifer
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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