Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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