Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
