i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
