I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
