So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
