Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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