in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
her vagine was all disorganized.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
