Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
