are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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