i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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