I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
