Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
