Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Still dying that you shit outside
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize