me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
