Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
