So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
