I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
