why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
We need to rekindle our bromance
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
