We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
