Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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