Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
