Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
