i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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