I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
