Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
