Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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