Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
