I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
dude. I can hear the air.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
