so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
