just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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