They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
