Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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