Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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