I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
vagina is talking i cant
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
