First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
