Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
