i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
