I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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