And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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