I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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