Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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