sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
