Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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