This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
