Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
