Can Purell be used as lube?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
