my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I would fuck him just for his dog
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize