i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
