i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
