she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
