well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
