He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
