haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
