Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize